Raging Against the Dying of the Light

I’m raging today against the dying of the light. Mainly, the dying of my light.  I try so hard to tell my family what I’m feeling now that the date of my evaluation of my liver transplant is near.  I could be turned down for a liver flat-out. If that happens, I will die soon. I have always felt suicidal, but never really wanting to die. I think the universe might have a wicked since of humor like it always had in my case and say “well, you have wanted to die so many times, we are now going to grant you your wish”. I realize that I didn’t want to die, but to only have validation in my pain.

I really do love life

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