Lost Old Lady

August 31, 2013

The following is a post from Facebook I did chronicling the adventure of my Aunt Jorie trying to get home from the Perimeter Mall area.  She was going to a party off Old Snellville Road and somehow ended up next to Perimeter Mall:

#1  Have you ever tried to talk an old lady, who is lost, home from east Jesus?  It’s a hoot!  I may end up in the mental ward again or lose my religion.  Who gives these old people licenses anyway.  Next time she leaves the house, I’m giving her a survival kit with a flare gun.

#2  Update on lost old lady…she’s still lost…keeps turning when I tell her not to.  If I don’t drink tonight, my sobriety is gonna be solid.  She’s singing in the background and having a wonderful time while I’m pulling my hair out and contemplating various murder acts.  I’ll keep you posted.

#3  Update on lost old lady.  Mom got her to Pleasant Hill Road and told her to turn right.  She hung up the phone and of course she turned left .  She called us back and we had to tell her to turn around and head the right way home.  She’s still singing and I have a major headache now.  If I ever get this way, please put me in a home and lock the door.

#4  With the saga of the “Lost Old Lady” unfolding, I’m reminded of my aunt’s old dog that walks round and round in circles about 97 times then shits and lays in it.  If my aunt gets home and shits in the floor, I’m moving!

#5  The saga of the “Lost Old Lady” has concluded.  She made it home, so those of you who live near us can resume driving again.

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